31 Jan Day 10: Getting clear on your “WHY”
Welcome to day 10 of “Punching Worry in the Face!”
I’m glad you’re here!
If you’re just joining us, that’s great! Dig in the blog posts over the last 10 days. You’ll catch up quick.
If you’ve been with me from the start… you know that over the past 10 days we’ve explored some different strategies to help you punch worry right in the face! I’m hoping that it’s been helping you to overcome worry in very real ways… and you’ve had some “wins” in your bouts with the temptation to worry this week!
Today we’re going to circle back around and touch on a concept that is VITAL when it comes to beating back worry and finally overcoming it on a day to day basis.
The strategy: Getting clear on your “WHY”
First some background:
When I work with my coaching clients, we’ll talk about goals and dreams. Then we’ll put a plan in place to make those things a reality. BUT before we take action… I always stop to ask a really important question.
That question: “Why is ___________ important to you… right now?”
It’s a simple question. It’s a short question. At the same time… it’s a game changer.
Let me give you an example. A while back, I was working with a successful entrepreneur. As we were talking through his goals and dreams, we landed on the fact that he really wanted to re-engineer his life so he could spend more time with his family. It was obviously important to him because he’d tried various strategies in the past. He’d taken a “time management” class… but it didn’t seem to work. He’d tried using numerous scheduling “apps” but nothing seemed to change his habits of over-working and staying late. He’d even tried to introduce some accountability in his life by telling a few friends that this was something he was really working on and he wanted them to ask him about it. But when they asked him about it a few weeks later… he had to admit he hadn’t changed his behavior. That’s when he decided to work one-on-one with me.
So… we talked through it. We talked about what “ideal” would look like. We talked about how a better-managed schedule could really help him to focus and work smarter. We even talked about the various tools he needed to use to make this all a reality. Then we built a simple plan to start to experiment with and make this all happen.
But before we launched that plan, I asked him…
“Okay, I’m excited for you and it sounds like you are really determined to make this work. Before we get started though, I want to ask you a question. That question is, ‘Why is this so important… right now?”
My client got really quiet. He didn’t respond right away. I even heard a quite “sniff” from the other end of the phone.
Then he said, “My daughter is at the end of her junior year in high school right now. If I don’t do something, I’m going to miss out on her last year at home. [Another pause] And if I miss out on this next year, I have a feeling I’ll lose connection with her the rest of her life.”
I said, “Wow. That does sound important.” I paused then continued, “What if we get this right… starting now?”
He responded in a nano second, “Well, I have a feeling that if I really invest in this next year and I’m really present… we’ll launch her into this next season of her life with a deep bond that will last the rest of her life.”
I smiled and responded, “Oh, I like the sounds of THAT. Let’s do that.”
He said [after another “sniff”] “Yeah, that does sound good. Let’s do that.”
Then we started to make minor changes that really added up over time. And I’m very happy to say that it made all the difference in that next year of my client’s life with his family. Those strategies he’d learned about time management FINALLY worked and he started to live his IDEAL schedule on a daily basis. Did he do it perfectly? Nope. But he stuck with it like never before… and he established new habits that helped him to achieve his dream!
Now, you might be saying…
“Hold on. I thought we were talking about worry. Why are we talking about time management?”
The reason I tell you this story is that my client had established some bad habits. They were habits that were stealing his ability to live the life he really wanted to experience. He’d tried some strategies in the past, but none of them had worked. Even though he knew exactly what he needed to do… he didn’t do it.
I believe the reason those strategies hadn’t worked was that he hadn’t really gotten clear on his “why.”
See… I believe:
“If you get clear on your WHY, your HOW will come.”
In this client’s situation, he’d thought through various strategies he could use to better manage his time. But once a crisis emerged… he would revert back to old habits. However, once he was clear on his “why,” he just had to remind himself of that when he was tempted to go back to his old ways.
See how that works?
Now, let’s apply the power of “why” to worry.
Worry is a habit.
No… better said… worry is a bad habit. Amen?
We can use the power of WHY to break bad habits.
But first, we need to clear on your WHY.
STEP 1: Get Clear on a ‘WHY’
Let me ask you… why do you want to overcome worry in your life? What are some reasons why you want to punch worry right in the kisser and eliminate it from your life? Why is this important to you… right now?
Think about it and write out at least three reasons WHY you want less worry in your life:
STEP 2: Remind yourself of your ‘why’
Think about it… and then take the next step.
Once you’re clear on at least one WHY… commit to reminding yourself of this WHY the next time you’re tempted to worry.
Let me give you an example from my own life. One of my “WHY’s” is that I don’t want our two sons to wrestle with worry the same way that I have most of my life. I want them to see me modeling what I call, “Break Through Thinking,” not the “Break Down Thinking” that worry causes. (Amen?) So I wear a simple black cord bracelet on my wrist. Whenever I’m tempted to worry, I can just reach down and brush that bracelet as a reminder that “worry doesn’t work” and “I want to show my boys a better way.” That tends to be enough to help me to shift my thinking towards more powerful thinking and not take a visit to “Worryville.”
What do you think? Are you willing to try it? I bet you are.
Join in the convo!
In fact, join in the conversation. Leave a comment and let us know one of your ‘WHY’s’ when it comes to breaking through and overcoming worry. I’d LOVE to hear from you!
Keep bringing your awesome,
PS – Did you know you could win a FREE copy of my book IGNITE or even a “DREAM.TH1NK.DO.” Coaching Package with me?