351: One of the Most Important Questions to Ask!

One of the Most Important Questions to Ask- Mitch Matthews

351: One of the Most Important Questions to Ask!

We’re answering a great question from a fellow DREAM THINK DO listener this week.  He asked, “As a Success Coach… what’s one of the most important questions you ask people?”  Whew.  I love that and… as you’ll hear… I get pretty fired up to answer it.

In fact, the question that we dig into is one that you can use to get more clear, build your confidence and help you to stay inspired.  But it’s also a question you can use at work with your teams, your co-workers and… heck, even with leaders above you.  Plus, you can use it with your family and friends too.

I don’t want to sound like I’m trying to over-hype this question… but seriously… it’s THAT powerful!  And it’s sooooooo important to ask (in multiple scenarios)!  So get excited.  Let’s dive in!



How to WIN more in 5 minutes or less!  (SPEED). – Success, People, Experiment, Evaluate & Determined. www.mitchmatthews.com/336 

Jake Thompson: BEAT Pandemic Fatigue! [A Guide to Survive and Thrive!]: www.mitchmatthews.com/281   

4 Keys to Developing a Confident Mind with Dr. Nate Zinser: www.mitchmatthews.com/349 

5 Keys to Creating a Dream Date: www.mitchmatthews.com/348

Lots of questions come in… especially after episode 346 – RESET WEEK – where I said we’d be spending MOST of our upcoming episodes on:

  • The Abundant Life Playbook
  • The Elite Coach Playbook
  • The Growing Business Playbook

By the way… if you’d like to ask a question and/or give me a suggestion for topics for future DREAM THINK DO episodes, be sure to leave a comment!

One recent question really applies to BOTH the “Abundant Life Playbook” and the “Elite Coach Playbook,” is:  “As a coach… what’s one of the most important questions you ask?”

THIS IS A GREAT QUESTION!  And I couldn’t help myself but dive into it!  And as you can imagine… since I’ve been a full-time coach for almost 20 years… I have a lot of favorite questions.  BUT one of my favorites and one of the most important has to be:

“What does success look like”

This is a powerful question if you’re a coach or a mentor.  This is a powerful question if you’re a leader or a manager.  This is a powerful question if you’re a parent or a friend.  It even is important to ask in a romantic relationship.  So yeah… as you can see… it’s a favorite!

It’s a great question to ask others… but it’s also a great question to ask yourself as you’re journaling, meditating and praying.  

I love this question because it’s MACRO and it’s MICRO:

  • MACRO – Large scale… EVERYTHING… All encompassing… BIG PICTURE.
  • MICRO – Minute by minute… the small stuff… the little but important stuff… day-to-day!

Are you sold?  I hope so.  So let’s dive in!


Let’s talk about some examples of “MACRO” versions of this question.


  • This year?
  • This season of my career?
  • My team… this year?
    • [NOTE: You can sure talk to your team about this and ask THEM too!]

You can use this question as you consider the different ROLES you have in life: 


  • For me as a parent?
  • For me as a spouse?  (If you’re dating… What does success look like in this relationship?)
  • For me as a leader?
  • For me as a volunteer?
  • For me as a team member?

It can also be a question to ask yourself… when it comes to the way you want to live life:

What does success look like for how I want to LIVE?

Now… let’s talk about the question at a MICRO LEVEL:

As in… how can you apply it TODAY?  How can you use it to help guide you moment to moment… today?

I like to add the “Rule of 3” here to drill down to some specifics.  So I simply add “three things” to the question.

For example: 

What are 3 things that would make today a success?

If I journal that… I might come up with things like:

  • Engage well with others.  
  • Stay present.  
  • Focus and get XYZ done.  
  • Have gas left in the tank for my family tonight.
  • To have FUN as I work today.
  • To show people gratitude throughout the day.
  • To bring my best work as often as possible.

Then… I’d pick the 3 most important for that day.

Or another example is if you’re prepping for a hard conversation, you might ask:

What are 3 things that are within my control that would make this conversation a success?

You might come up with things like:

  • I will be prepared.  
  • I will show the person I love/honor/respect them… no matter what (even in a business situation) 
  • I’m ready to share my perceptions and I’m open to theirs.

Another example is I recently hired a new VA.  So… I asked myself, “What are 3 things that would make my new team member’s onboarding a success?”

Some things I came up with were:

  • Help her to feel welcomed.  
  • Help her to know we believe in her.  
  • Help her to know what success looks like.  (Ironic… right? LOL!)

THIS makes for a great prayer too.  Some of my favorite questions as I pray are:

Lord… what do you want me to know… today?

Lord.. what do you want me to do… today?

Lord… what does success look like… today?

NOTE: The topic of favorite questions I ask during prayer could TOTALLY be its own episode.  So, if you dig that or you’d want me to dig into that more… leave a comment or send me an email and let me know!


Where do you want to apply this question… this week?

  • Work?
  • Life?
  • Relationships?
  • Volunteering?
  • Leadership?
  • Entrepreneurship?
  • Family?

Go big… and ask a MACRO QUESTION or two.

Then be sure to go MICRO too… and experiment with the “Rule of 3” to bring it to something specific… today.

MINUTE-BY-MINUTE One of the Most Important Questions to Ask:

  • 0:02 What to expect today
  • 2:22 The new Dream Think Do Playbooks
  • 6:16 The most important question we can ask
  • 13:17 More ways to learn more about this topic
  • 18:04 Clarifying this important question even more
  • 23:30 Listener shout out! Did you hear your name?
  • 25:43 How to practically apply this question today
  • 38:00 Another example of how tangible this success hack is
  • 42:28 Your action step today!

I want to hear from YOU!  

What’s something that stood out to you?  More importantly… what are you going to try as a result? 

Let me know!  And hey… if you have more questions… let me know!  I can’t wait to hear from YOU!

Lastly, don’t forget to share this episode!  Your friends will thank you! 

And when you do either tag me or just include the #dreamthinkdo.

You can find me on Facebook, LinkedIn and Instagram.  (Let’s connect there too!)

Keep bringing your awesome, 



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