A Pearl of wisdom from a Veteran

Stockdale exiting a jet weeks before his Vietnam POW experience. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So… as I was prepping for my Friday morning show on 107.1 fm… I thought it would be fitting to take a pearl of wisdom from a veteran and POW camp survivor.  His name was Jim Stockdale.

Jim Collins in his book, “Good to Great” interviewed Jim Stockdale and as he did… he uncovered an incredible key to leadership (and life)!

See… Jim Stockdale was a decorated pilot for the U.S. Navy.  He had the kind of career that they make movies about.  But during a battle Stockdale was shot down, captured, beaten within an inch of his life and then thrown into the Hos Lo prison.  This prison was notorious for it’s brutal treatment of it’s captives.  In fact, most prisoners didn’t live longer than a year within it’s walls.  However, Jim Stockdale lived for over 7 years on the confines of this freakishly nasty hole.

As a result, Jim Collins wanted to find out how a man could survive this ordeal and help others to do the same.

When he interviewed Stockdale, he uncovered what he later called “The Stockdale Paradox.”

Collins asked him how he coped with the brutalities of life as a POW.  He asked about the mindset of Stockdale as well as those who didn’t survive.

As he did… Collins found out that Stockdale chose to live in a “tension.”

That tension was caused by having one foot solidly planted in a belief that he would not only survive his ordeal but that he would eventually thrive in life.  At the same time, he also kept one foot planted in the “brutal realities of now.”

Standing in this tension was admittedly difficult but Stockdale believed it was not only the key to his survival… but that it was critical to him emerging from that horrible situation to live a long, healthy and fruitful life.

Having one foot in a belief… and one foot in the now… caused an inner-tension.

It was a paradox.  But it was also critical.

Collins then asked him about the mindset of many of the soldiers who didn’t make it.  Stockdale explained that often times the soldiers who didn’t survive would get caught up in one or the other sides of that “paradox.”  They might get excited about an upcoming holiday like Christmas or the 4th of July.  They’d tell themselves and others, “We’ll be free by Christmas!  We just need to make it to Christmas.”  But then Christmas would come and go… and they would quickly lose hope because their “now” hadn’t changed.

Or… others would get immersed in the brutality of the “now” with no belief in the future.  They would only focus on the beatings and their horrible situation… and as a result… give up.

Instead… Stockdale stayed in that “paradox.”

Believing… AND dealing.

As a result, he figured out ways to use Morris Code to communicate with other prisoners when locked away in solitary confinement.  He shared food and limited supplies with other prisoners… in order to keep a spirit of connectedness and partnership.  He kept faith in his future but he also confronted the brutal facts of his current reality.

That inspires me.

How about you?

I’m happy to say that although I face some pretty significant challenges on a daily basis… all of that pales in comparison to the brutality of a POW camp.

Can I get an amen?

But this is wisdom we can apply to leadership… and to life.

We need to believe in our future… the future of our organizations… the future of country… the future of our families… etc., etc.

We need to believe… to our core… in our dreams and the dreams of others.

At the same time… we need to keep one foot solidly planted in the realities of the “now.”

We need to fight the good fight each day.  Bring our best game.  Pour out a cup of our best awesome in our work every day!

Again… can I get an amen?!?

A great example.

As I wrap up this post… I wanted to share an awesome example of what I’m talking about.  (And how simple but profound living in this paradox can be.)

As I was walking into the radio station to do my morning segment… I noticed a woman in the parking lot moving towards the front door.  She was hobbling and tentative.  When she moved around her car I could see a large cast on right foot.  It made her pace very slow and deliberate.  We approached the building at almost the same time, so I stuck around to hold the door for her.  As she came closer I could see that her cast had zebra print on it that matched her shirt perfectly.  I smiled, held the door and noted that it was the first time I’d ever seen someone be able to “accessorize” their cast so adeptly.  She smiled brightly and explained that she’d found zebra print duct tape and thought that she could “just make the most of it.”

I thought… BAM!  Now THAT’s living the Stockdale Paradox!

Believing in the future… and living in the now!

Loved it.

How about you?

How might you live in that “paradox” today?

What could you do… to increase your clarity and belief in your future?  What could you do to grow in your confidence that you will not only survive but thrive?

At the same time… what could you do to increase your engagement in the “now?”  How might you focus on your current opportunities and challenges… just a bit more today?

What’s something you want to do… to recognize and boldly stand in that Stockdale Paradox… today?

Join in the convo… and share your thoughts.  I’d love to hear from you!

All the best,

Mitch

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• A New Way To Look At Optimism’s Role In Success

Q: How do we want to encourage the next generation?

BACKGROUND:

Over the past few years… I’ve been wildly blessed to get to speak on more and more college campuses AND to be a part of the rock star event called Succeed Faster (designed for high-caliber college students and recent grads).

Well… I was able to talk to one of my favorite rock stars yesterday… as she’s getting ready to graduate from college this coming weekend.  She (like many soon-to-be graduates) is standing in the tension of feeling excitement and fear.  You know the place.  Many of us have been there.  Feeling that Stockdale Paradox of believing fully in your future AND wrestling with the tough stuff of “the now.”

I’ll admit that our conversation came at the end of a very long and robust day.  I listened but I didn’t bring my best game.  I encouraged…  but I didn’t bring a lot of truth.  This morning… I felt nudged to send a follow up email.  I just wanted to throw some ideas out there to both meet her where she was at AND push her whole-heartedly into her awesome-yet-scary future.

Here’s a part of the email I sent her:

Hey ______,

It was sure great to talk with you yesterday. 

I’m both proud OF you and excited for you.

One additional thought… and it’s a bit heavy… BUT I wanted to share it.

You started out in college a small fish in a BIG pond.  Over time… and because of your commitment to “bring the awesome” and M.A.S.H… you became a BIG fish in a small pond. 

You OWNED it because you brought your best and delivered.

Now… you’re about to enter the HUGE pond of the open market. 

You may feel like a very tiny tiny fish in a HUGE freeeeegin’ pond now.  And that’s natural.  TOTALLY natural. 

But hey… keep swimming.  Keep bringing the awesome.  Stay committed to working your butt off and doing what you do best.

The world doesn’t owe you anything… but you know that. 

You have to go and make your mark in that new BIG pond.  But you can do it.  Just know it’s going to feel like a big pond for a while.

Stay committed.  Keep bringing your best.  Keep doing the stuff that no one else is willing to do to pursue their dreams.

I promise you… as you do… you’ll become the BIG fish you were created to be. 

AND you’ll find waters that are going to be an awesome fit for you!

You were made for this sista.

Dream FREEEEEGIN huge… and go after it.

Talk soon,

I can tell you that when I wrote this… I hadn’t intended to blog about it.

BUT… I’ve been plagued by a question ever since I hit “send.”

The question is:

Q: HOW CAN WE BEST ENCOURAGE THIS NEXT GENERATION?

Seriously.

This isn’t an easy question… but it’s an important one.

We need to be talking about this.  We need to be intentional about this.

• We need to encourage AND bring truth.
• We need to hug AND push.
• We need to protect them less and we need to hold them capable more.

Their future is dependent on it.  Our future is dependent on it.

But… how do we do it?

Think about it.

In this next couple of weeks… how can you encourage a graduate?

• How might you hug and push?
• How might you meet them where they’re at… but not let them stay there?
• How might you help them to dream bigger about their future AND also prepare to work their butts off in the here and now?

Think about it… but also share your ideas.

Comment and let us know what you think might be the best ways to encourage this next generation.

Thanks for being in this together,

Mitch

Here’s the specifics:

DATE:

• Tuesday, March 26

TIMES:

• Registration: 6 to 6:30 pm
• Inspirational Message from me: 6:30 to 7:15 pm
• Dreaming BIG together: 7:15 to 9 pm
• NOTE: You can come for part or ALL of the event!

LOCATION:

• Graham Conference Center on Central’s campus (click here for a  map)

WHO CAN COME:

• This event is free and open to the public! So YOU are welcome to attend!

COST:

• Thanks to the partnership with the Martin Heerema Entrepreneurship Program and the Pella Community Foundation… the BIG Dream Gathering is FREE to attend!

WHAT:

• For those who are new to the BIG Dream Gathering… and you’re wondering what it’s all about… here’s a short video to give you a taste of what you’ll experience when you attend!

We can’t wait!

We can’t wait to see you there. We can’t wait to dream big with you! And we can’t wait to see what dreams (big or small) are sparked!

Click here to find out more!

WHAT: ciWeek

ciWeek allows people to meet, acquire knowledge, and become inspired by some extremely innovative people. ciWeek 2013 will focus on Building a Better Future (with a futuristic World’s Fair theme).

The event will bring together speakers such as Daymond John, founder of F.U.B.U. and a shark on ABC’s Shark Tank; John Gaeta, Academy Award-winning visual effects creator for movies such as The Matrix Trilogy and Speed Racer; and Jessica Matthews and Julia Silverman, inventors of the Soccket and founders of Uncharted Play.

Thanks to the support of some fantastic sponsors ciWeek is free to attend and most presentations are open to the public.

WHEN: Monday, March 4th through Thursday, March 7th

Some noted highlights:

I’ll be speaking on Monday night from 6 to 7 pm.  I’ll be speaking on Innovation’s Secret Weapon: Employee Engagement.  This session is free and open to the public.

On Tuesday night from 6 to 7 pm, Adam Carroll will be speaking the power of relationships and how they can be at the core of innovation.

On Wednesday, co-founders of Uncharted Play will be speaking from 1 to 2:20 on “Socket: From Idea to Innovation.“

On Thursday, FUBU founder and Shark Tank’s Daymond John will be speaking from 1 to 2:20 on “5 Steps to Become a Shark“

HOW MUCH:

Again… thanks to some great sponsors… this event is free to attend and it’s open to the public.  NOTE: Some presentations may have limited seating, so you’ll need to check the website for availability.

WHERE: DMACC West Des Moines Campus

All events will be held at the West Des Moines DMACC campus.  If you haven’t visited this building… you should.  It’s an innovative feat in and of itself!

SPECIFICS ON MY TALK:

ENGAGE! How Inspiring Full Employee Engagement Can Be Your Secret Weapon for Innovation

A new challenge is developing.

Although people are choosing to stay in their jobs longer… actual employee engagement is at an all time low!  In fact, a recent Gallup Poll found that 54% of employees across the country said they were not engaged in their work.  And an additional 17% identified themselves as “knowingly disengaged.”

Do the math… that’s 71% of employees that are either not engaged or knowingly disengaged!

That’s not a challenge… that’s a PROBLEM!

With “ENGAGE!” I present a FOUR STEP PROCESS that leaders can utilize to dramatically increase their own level of engagement… as well as help their teams to do the same!  Which will also ignite innovating thinking and new solutions!

We will…

• Uncover one key concept that undermines any new training initiative and help you to overcome it!
• Offer specific stories and case studies that will inspire leaders but also give them specific strategies to use immediately!
• Show how tying an employee’s bigger goals and dreams to their daily work can make a significant impact on their focus, dedication and loyalty!
• Provide a core concept to help leaders to “control what you can control” which will make the the difference on a leader’s performance as well as help them (and their teams) to overcome the grinding stress that can cause disengagement!
• And much much more!

These concepts, strategies and stories will help you to engage at new levels and help your teams to be more fully engaged too!

Think about it.

What could happen if your leaders and your employees were performing with a high level of contribution AND a high level of satisfaction in their work?  What could it do for innovation?  What could it do for generating new ideas and better solutions?

Let’s find out on Monday, March 4th!

I can’t wait to see you there!

Mitch Matthews

“What is it like to participate in the BIG Dream Gathering?”

If you’re asking this same question… check out this video.  It will give you a taste of what we call “The BIG Dream Gathering experience.”

Oh… and whether you know what you would write down on your dream sheets or not…
Mitch Matthews… the co-founder of the BIG Dream Gathering will kick off the Gathering with some inspiring stories and some guidance.

He’ll talk about the power of what can happen when

people give themselves permission to dream big…

and the amazing things that can happen when

people dream big together!

So… plan on attending to the BIG Dream Gathering when it comes to your area… and just see what happens with your own BIG dreams, as well as the BIG dreams of your community!

What are people saying about the BIG Dream Gathering experience?

“I’ve seen it with my own eyes – the spark of engagement when people work together on big dreams.  Everyone should experience the BIG Dream Gathering!  The process is remarkable.  As people reach for a bigger dream they are also invited to invest in the success of others.  What a marvelous model for breaking through barriers, dialing in and connection.” – Dondi Scumaci – Best Selling Author and Speaker

 

“The BIG Dream Gathering experience is great! Ours was an awesome mix of people all gathered helping each other get started on making their dreams come true.” – Connie Hansen – The University of Northern Iowa

“The BIG Dream Gathering is infectious with hope and positive communication.” – Scott Jarvis – West Bank

 

 

What are people saying about Mitch Matthews as a speaker?

 ”Mitch Matthews was our opening speaker and it was the best talk we’ve had in the 41 years of holding this conference!” – Harris F. Seidel – Co-founder – Association of Boards of Certification

 

“Mitch Matthews was a smashing success at our conference.  He goes beyond motivating.  He inspires!” – Jimi Coplen – Texas Midwest Community Network

 

“I would recommend Mitch Matthews to anyone needing a high-impact and high-energy speaker!” – Michelle Hisabeck – Meeting Professionals International

 

I was testing out a new strategy.  It wasn’t a HUGE shift.  It wasn’t wildly exciting.  In fact… this experiment had to do with some of by own business systems.

Part of the experiment went better than I thought.  One thing went worse.  But I learned from all of it.  Part of it pushed me out of my comfort zone… part of it reinforced some things I was very comfortable with.

But… in the end… the experiment was a good thing.  I learned some new things.

As a result…

• I’m going to tweak something.
• I’m going to keep doing four other things.
• And I’m NEVER going to do one thing.  (That’s a story for another blog post)

How about you?

What are you feeling called to experiment with today?

Experiments with Long exposure and lights-015 (Photo credit: Tea, two sugars

Need some help?  Need some inspiration?

I shared more on this subject on my weekly radio segment.  Check it out by clicking here.

Mitch – 107.1 – Experiment

How about it?

What if you picked something to experiment with?

What might it be for you?

What if you tried something?

Maybe it’s a small but significant shift in your own approach to your work?  Maybe it’s a new sport or hobby?  Maybe it’s reaching out in a new way?

Or maybe it’s something to move you a little closer to one of your big dreams or goals?

Why not pick something and experiment.

See where it takes you.  Then let us know.

Can’t wait to hear!

Keep dreaming big and helping others to do the same,

Mitch

…Experiments… (Photo credit: mpeterke)

I’m in the midst of an experiment today.

I’m intentionally trying something new.

Well… honestly… it’s a new twist on something I’ve been doing for years.

I’m pushing my boundaries. I’m risking falling. In fact… I’m even risking looking a little silly.

I’ve set parameters for myself.  It’s risky but I’ve limited the risk.

It’s a “step of faith” not a “blind leap of faith.”

But yeah… I’m trying something new today… all in the name of nudging myself out of a comfort zone.

How about you?

How long has it been since you set up an “experiment” for yourself?

What might you experiment with this week?

How could you push yourself… just a little bit?

Come on… join me.

Let’s experiment together!

Who’s with me?

One of the biggest challenges that people bring up is…

“I don’t feel like I know enough to make a change.”

Plus… it’s almost like this feeling has an annoying and ever-present little side kick.

It’s…

“I don’t have time to do anything about it.”

Can you relate?

Do you struggle with the feeling that you’d love to try something different… or pursue something new… but at the same time… wrestle with the fact that you don’t seem to have an extra 5 minutes to spare to think about it… let alone 5 days to take a class on the subject?

Take some small but significant steps…

Well… as you may already know… we’re all about equipping you with strategies that you can apply right now… no matter how busy you are… so you can pursue that big dream or goal.

We often call these… “small but significant steps.”

Today’s small but significant steps will help you to learn new stuff… even if you don’t feel like you have 5 minutes to spare!

These strategies will help you…

• dig into some of those concepts you’ve been wanting to explore
• read that book you know would help to equip you for that new position
• research that idea that has been at the back of your brain (0r heart) for years

STEP 1: Find your “commercial breaks”

We all have them. They are those 5 to 10 minute blocks in our day that are lost time.

Stopwatch (Photo credit: wwarby)

They are a little like “commercial breaks” during your favorite tv show.

You know… those time blocks that exist… but kind of just melt away.

• Maybe it’s that 8 minutes while you’re waiting for everyone else to come into the room or hop on the line for that meeting?
• Maybe it’s the 10 minutes while you’re waiting for your friend to show up for coffee?
• Maybe it’s when you’re in the lobby waiting for a doctor or dentist?
• Maybe it’s that 10 minutes waiting for your kids after school or after soccer practice?
• Maybe it’s that… well let’s just say… that “private time” when you’re in the restroom. (Yeah… I’m going there too!)

Find those commercial breaks. Find those minutes.

They are there.

But often times… they just get lost… don’t they?

What do we typically do with them? Well, if you’re like me… (when I don’t have a plan)… you fill those minutes with hopping on facebook, by reading a 2-year old magazine on the coffee table or by listening to the radio.

Well… what if you used some of those “commercial breaks” more intentionally?

What if you had a plan for some of your “commercial breaks?”

Think about it. If you just found 10 minutes a day… over a week’s time… that’s a full hour! I know that doesn’t seem like a lot. But if you add that up… over a year’s time… that’s would make for over one full 40 hour week devoted to that big dream or goal!

Pretty sweet… right?

So let’s move on to step two…

Step 2: Use “Minute Maximizers.”

I know… I know… there might be a part of you saying, “Oh great… here comes the rainbows and little pony strategies. Like… think positive thoughts and you’ll learn ALLLL that you need to know.”

Nope. You won’t get any of that here… although I will admit that like rainbows AND little ponies!

MINUTE MAXIMIZERS are specific strategies that help you to use those COMMERCIAL BREAKS more intentionally.

When it comes to learning new things… here are some examples of MINUTE MAXIMIZERS:

“A READ IT” File:

This is a simple strategy that a number of time management gurus have talked about. The basic idea is that you use a folder (or series of folders) and you keep them close at hand.

Then… when something comes across your radar that you want to read… instead of taking time to stop and read it right then and there (because you don’t usually find this stuff when you actually have the time to read it)… you print it off… rip it out… or photo copy it… and put it in your “READ IT” file.

Then… you keep your “READ IT” file with you.

So you can pull it out… while you’re waiting for that meeting… or that appointment… or for your plane.

Simple… I know.

But… just think how having the things that you actually WANT to read… close at hand… could help you maximize your commercial breaks?

A BATHROOM LIBRARY

Okay… I’ll admit it. My mom was not a big fan of what she called “potty jokes.” And trust me… I’m a guy… so my list of jokes involving bodily functions seems to have NO END!

But… I wont go there today.

I’ll just say that everyone has time in the bathroom… and sometimes… especially for moms… this can be the only truly protected 10 minutes of the day!!!

So… what do you have close at hand for reading… in your bathroom library?

Seriously… think about it. What’s close to your toilet?

Old magazines? A book that’s been there for years? Something that looks nice… but won’t help you to go after that dream job or big goal?

Okay… well… I’m going to suggest something weird. Maybe it’s even gross. BUT… we’re talking about equipping you to go after your BIG dreams and BIG goals… and we’re all short on time… so… yeah… I’m going there!

GET INTENTIONAL ABOUT YOUR BATHROOM READING!

Now… it doesn’t have to be out in plain site if you like to keep your bathroom orderly. But… again… be intentional. Have something close by… so you can use “that time” wisely.

So… take the challenge and go home tonight and take a good look at your “BATHROOM LIBRARY.” Choose to have something close by that you WANT to read. Something that might just help you go after that BIG dream or BIG goal… 10 minutes a day.

And hey… if your family pushes back on the amount of time you’re taking in the bathroom… you can blame me! Tell them…

“Mitch told me I needed to read in here at least 10 minutes a day!”

I’m sure that will help!

STEP 3: OWN IT!

Now, you’ve heard me talk about the INTELLECTUAL IMMUNE SYSTEM before.

It’s my concept that says our intellect has a similar immune system to our body’s… not… medically… but metaphorically.

As a result, if we get hit with a new idea… even it’s one we like… we will tend to reject it over time because it came from outside us. (Think about the last time you committed to a diet… a self-help based 5 principles book… or some advice from a friend… and it bombed. Yeah… there’s a very good chance that was your Intellectual Immune System that got in the way!)

So… the only way to beat the IIS… and really take in the new information you are learning as you use MINUTE MAXIMIZERS during your COMMERCIAL BREAKS… is to ask yourself a set of questions so you can own the new information.

That’s right. Because if you own it… then it comes from you. And if it comes from you… your Intellectual Immune System won’t kick in… and you’ll have a much better chance of retaining and using the information you are gathering!

Here are some “OWN IT” questions:

• How could these ideas apply to me?
• How could I modify this approach to better fit my situation?
• How could I experiment with these ideas… and move towards my goal or dream?

That’s it.

A simple 3 step process to help you to learn more… so you can better equip yourself to go after your own Project: Dream Job… and those big dreams and goals.

More importantly… you can find those COMMERCIAL BREAKS and use your MINUTE MAXIMIZERS to OWN the information you need… to go after your very own… PROJECT: DREAM JOB!

Who’s with me? Let me know. I’d love to hear from you. Join in the convo… and click comments!

Also, I’d LOVE to hear from you on the best ways you make time to learn about the things you want/need to dig into. So leave your suggestions for everyone! I’m sure you’ve got some great ideas and we’d love to hear from you!

Oh… and hey… to you people with interior design big dreams… shoot us some ideas on how to organize our bathroom so we can have stuff in there that we want to read… but so it looks nice! Seriously… help us out with a comment or a suggestion!

Keep dreaming big and helping others to do the same,

Mitch Matthews

“Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better person.”

- Benjamin Franklin

why did the stick cross the stream? (Photo credit: Pedro Moura Pinheiro)

Q: What’s something you want to do… this year… to get better each day?

A few with a book-writing theme…

“Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.”

Country Singer – Brad Paisley

We will open the book.  Its pages are blank.  We are going to put words on them ourselves.  The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.

~Author and poet -Edith Lovejoy Pierce

With coaching…

I work with a lot of people who are wanting to write books… and one thing I notice on this front is that it’s difficult for most people to start because they think it needs to be perfect right from the first paragraph.

So then they get stuck… and they don’t ever start writing.

I think this could apply to the idea of your life being a book… too.  I think there might be people who never start writing the story of their life… because they think it has to be perfect right from the start.  But what if we gave ourselves permission to not get it right… right from the start?  The Bible is packed full of stories of people who God worked through… even though their stories were far from perfect.  Maybe we’d be in good company.

Who’s with me on writing a story with your life this year?

A messy, fun, compelling, interesting, exciting, loving, grace-filled and funny story?

Here are a few from author and speaker Michael Josephson…

“Approach the New Year with resolve to find the opportunities hidden in each new day.”

“Whether we want them or not, the New Year will bring new challenges; whether we seize them or not, the New Year will bring new opportunities.”

Q: What do you want to focus on this year?

Some dog wisdom to wrap this up…

“A dog’s New Year’s Resolution: I will not chase that stick unless I actually see it leave his hand!”

There’s some wisdom tucked in here.

Q: What’s something you want to resolve not to chase this year?  What’s something you do want to chase?  Hey… we’re all chasing something… what if we were more intentional with what we chased this year?